


Little Girls in Pretty Boxes

by tzzzz



Series: In Treatment 'verse [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Arguing, BDSM, Bottom Derek, Drugged Sex, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fertility Issues, Genderplay, Girl Penis, Implied Mpreg, Infidelity, Knotting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Miscarriage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, POV Female Character, Physical Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Prequel, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Unhappy Ending, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-05 23:09:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1835590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzzzz/pseuds/tzzzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Long before Derek Hale was forced to hire Stiles Stilinski as an alpha heat therapist, he was the love of Julia Baccari's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Julia throws herself onto the well-worn couch in the greenroom like taking sanctuary. She can still hear the roar of voices from the cocktail reception in the lobby. So many beautiful people in immaculate suits and gowns and here she is in a simple, black gender-neutral slip dress. She’d worn this to school two Fridays ago and gotten throw up on the hem when one of her students came in drunk. His suspension hadn’t made her feel any better.

“Well, you’re a lovely thing,” a voice purrs from Julia’s right, making her jump. She has her pepper spray out of her purse before he can fully extend the hand he’d been offering her. 

The man just raises a well-manicured eyebrow, nonplussed. He doesn’t even turn to face her. Not that he needs to in order to awe her with the attractiveness of his profile. He’s dressed in tight grey slacks and a stylish white turtleneck cardigan. She doesn’t need to take a whiff to know he’s an alpha.

“Oh, sorry, um, I guess I’m a little jumpy. I’m Jennifer.” The name still doesn’t come out natural, even though she’s been using it for an entire semester. “Jennifer Blake.” She fumbles the pepper spray back into her purse. How can she be the cool teacher in front of her students and then make a fool of herself in front of every adult she meets? Especially the suave, slightly sinister ones.

“Nice to meet you, Jennifer Blake,” the alpha says with just the hint of a smirk. Of course, he’s going to make her beg for his name. It figures she’d find herself with another alpha that likes to play mind games.

“And, um, who are you? I mean, your name, not your life story,” she babbles. “Though if they keep us back here for long enough, I wouldn’t mind hearing it. If you wanted to tell me that is. Oh god, I need to just stop talking.” 

The man’s smirk gapes wider the more she talks. There’s something dangerous about him, feral. “Peter,” he replies, then proceeds to stare at her until she squirms. She flinches when he reaches out a hand to cup her face. The thumb that traces one of the scars on her cheek sends a shiver down her spine. She gasps. She can’t believe he’s bold enough to be touching her like this. Or that she’s letting him.

“Nice work,” Peter comments, examining the small ridges that crisscross her face. It took her an hour to get her makeup to cover the scars. “Doctor Rashdi?”

Julia nods. Her red-painted lips smear a soft mark along his hand where he’s still touching her face.

“She does good work,” Peter remarks. He tilts his head towards her, revealing a network of gnarled scars traveling up the side of his face. He hasn’t made any effort to conceal them. “Pretty good, considering how I burned. Like a barbecue.” He laughs, but his eyes are cold. “I’m sure they’ll show all the fancy people a powerpoint presentation of the gruesome details.”

Julia blushes. She’s been losing sleep over that exact possibility all week. But she promised Dr. Rashdi that she would come to show off the reconstructive surgery team’s good work. This is a benefit to help raise money for a hyperbaric chamber for the hospital and showing up is the least Julia can do.

Peter has pulled back, but is now sniffing the hand that had cupped her face. “Alpha? Now there’s a shocker.”

Julia wants to melt into the floor. Kali was right: Julia isn’t enough of an alpha to convince other alphas, let alone attract an omega. Even if she did own some traditional alpha-style clothes, people would think she's crossdressing. The only solace she can take is that Peter doesn’t seem the kind of alpha to get _offended_ that he just hit on one of his own.

“Suffered a little crisis of confidence, did we?” Peter asks, gesturing to her face.

“Yes. I suppose. I wasn’t much of an alpha to begin with. How do you do it?”

“I’m just a sterling example of alphahood, that’s all.” His flippancy grates, but Julia isn’t alpha enough to call him on it.

“I mean, the scars. How do you--”

Peter shrugs. “These slights on my handsome face are regrettable, but _I_ define how people see me. Deformed, but still confident is much more powerful than regular old pretty and privileged. Don’t you think?”

“Yes. But how--”

He shrugs, already looking bored with the conversation. “Fake it until you make it. That _is_ what they say.”

They hear some commotion outside the door. Julia can’t make out the sounds, but Peter smirks. “I believe my nephew is just about to give you the chance to practice. Don’t worry,” he winks. “He’s harmless.”

Julia straightens her spine and takes a deep, calming breath. She imagines that she’s at the front of a classroom, talking to her students about Heart of Darkness. 

Peter eyes her skeptically, but doesn’t say anything.

The door flies open and, far from harmless, an absolutely gorgeous omega strides in. He’s tall for his gender, like a model. He has a narrow waist highlighted by a simple, structured blouse that’s about as alpha as can be while maintaining an omega neckline. Julia gulps at the way his lean muscles shift across his exposed collarbones.

“Uncle Peter,” he says, sense of purpose seeming to leave him as soon as he’s arrived.

“Derek.”

“Everything’s ready.”

Peter rolls his eyes. “That, I already knew. And you knew I knew it,” he utters cruelly. “Let’s not flatter ourselves and pretend you’re here for any other purpose than hiding.”

“I’m not--” Derek snaps.

“It’s fine. I’m sure our Laura has everything under control. She’s charismatic enough that she doesn’t need you at her side as a tantalizing distraction.”

Derek doesn’t seem happy with the label. Julia wouldn’t be either, even though he is both tantalizing and distracting. All this interaction has taught her is that, as inspiring as his burn recovery may be, Peter is not a nice man. 

“Derek, this is Jennifer,” Peter says. “Jennifer, my charming nephew, Derek. I apologize for his lack of manners.”

Derek startles a little at seeing Julia there. All that confidence she drudged up and she still fades into the woodwork. Great.

“Nice to meet you.” Derek turns to her and plasters on the fakest, most unhappy smile Julia has ever seen. She hopes she doesn’t look that that when she’s on guard and forcing herself to face the world.

They stare at each other for an awkward moment, with Peter glancing between them.

“Well, I’m bored,” Peter quips. “I’ll leave you both to your hiding. I’m sure that omega can fetch me when it’s time to be paraded onto stage to be gawked at. Until then, there’s that fine Merlot they’re serving.”

“With your medications are you sure--” Derek protests. Julia is sure he just doesn’t want to be left alone here with her.

Peter stands, using a cane to limp towards the door. “You’re always the one complaining that I don’t do enough to help you and Laura out. I’ll schmooze. You stay here and--” he gestures to Julia.

“He’s an ass,” Derek says before Peter has even completely shut the door. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Julia replies. “I’m used to it.” Maybe not to Peter’s particular brand of scathing charm, but she’s used to other alphas and how they push her around.

Derek doesn’t seem to know what to say to that. Julia curses herself for once again making things awkward by bringing up her pathetic life.

“So, um, what do you do?” she asks. It’s a stupid, banal question and she regrets it immediately.

“Family business,” Derek says. 

“What kind of business?”

“Boats.” He seems determined to shift the burden of conversation onto Julia -- an unwise decision, considering her tendency to babble.

“Oh. That’s, um, nice.”

Derek kind of half grunts. Julia can see why he’s hiding in here with her rather than networking. The prickly exterior is so at odds with his looks that it makes the little girl in her want to giggle. 

“I’m a teacher,” Julia offers. “10th and 11th grade English. It’s probably a lot less exciting than what you do. I mean, sailing sounds fun.” She tries not to remember how Kali had taken her out for cruises on the Thames. It was never more than a ferry ride, but the river and the damp had evoked a Dickensian atmosphere that captured Julia’s imagination.

“Oh. What are you teaching now?”

“The Crucible. My 11th graders just started it. Come to think of it," she improvises. She'd give anything to be somewhere other than here, on the spot with an omega this far out of her league. "I haven’t finished preparing my lecture for tomorrow, so I should probably--”

“Just say that it’s an allegory for McCarthyism,” Derek interrupts her desperate lie. 

Except the comment sparks something in Julia, a feistiness that she didn’t know existed. _Everyone_ knows that the Crucible is a thinly veiled reference to McCarthyism. It’s probably written on the back cover. Derek’s grin is smug, like showing the slightest glimmer of intelligence should make her swoon. She's sure it works for him. With his slim figure and sharp cheekbones and stunning green eyes, he probably doesn’t need to display _any_ intelligence. 

Deep down, beneath the insecurities and the neurosis, Julia is a proud alpha. She won’t let him trivialize what she does. She works _hard_ , damnit, and just because she wears a simple gender-neutral frock and not a fancy suit, doesn’t mean she deserves any less respect.

“That may be true,” she replies, “but knowing what the book is about won’t make a lesson plan spring, fully formed, from my head.” 

Derek nods, but he looks a little shocked that she isn’t charmed by his meager display of intelligence. “You’re the teacher.” He acknowledges, ducking his head in submission. Julia can’t believe that it worked. He’s leaning forward a little now, reacting to her slight show of dominance. She wonders if this is just a normal alpha/omega interaction. Is a slight put down really all it takes?

“I am the teacher. I’ll figure out how to explain allegory to my students and defer to you when it comes to sailor’s knots.”

It’s only when Derek breaks her gaze that she realizes her own unintentional double-entendre. “Oh god,” she immediately babbles. “I didn’t mean it like that. I would never trivialize your work or imply that you take sailor’s knots all day like a nautical themed porn film. Not that you would be out of place. I mean, you’re an attractive omega. But you don’t look like you should be in porn! Or you could be, because you’re incredibly good looking, but you don’t have that porn _look_.”

By the time the verbal diarrhea slows, Derek is chuckling to himself. 

“I’m sorry,” Julia offers. She’s about to explain how she babbles when she’s nervous, but then she remembers Peter’s advice to just fake it until she makes it. “So, um, unfortunate references to porn aside, would you like to maybe go out sometime?”

Derek looks uncertain. Of course he does. Julia is downright frumpy compared to him. And she just told him he could do porn. What classy omega doesn’t like to hear that from a potential suitor?

He looks so troubled by the proposition that Julia adds, “I won’t be offended if you say no.” In fact, she’s downright expecting it.

“I’m not saying no,” Derek replies. He looks her over cautiously. Julia feels herself blush in response.

“But?”

“But I don’t know if I’m ready for something serious.”

All Julia knows how is serious, but it seems as though he might actually say yes. A beautiful, clearly affluent, desirable omega might actually say yes. Kali said that Julia would never be alpha enough to win the affections of someone like that. She'd bottom for a fellow alpha and be grateful for it. Well, Julia will prove her wrong. Scars and all, she’ll prove that Kali can’t steal everything good forever. 

“That’s okay,” she says, trying on what she hopes is a charming smile. “We can just go grab a coffee. There’s a great little shop inside this used bookstore near my apartment. We’ll just see where it goes.”

“Okay,” Derek says. His tone is flat, but a small smile is curling at the corner of his mouth. Julia thinks she may actually have charmed him. She smiles back, feeling better than she’s felt since before the woman she loved ripped off half her face and left her for dead. She feels like she could walk through fire or stand firm at the eye of a tornado. Maybe she isn’t a wholly inadequate alpha after all.

Of course, the feeling can only last so long. It evaporates when she’s standing up on stage, images of her mangled face projected on a huge screen behind her. 

“It’s for people like Jennifer and myself,” Peter delivers smoothly, “that benefit from the care offered by St. John’s, that Hale Shipping International offers to match any donations to the hospital made tonight.”

It turns out, Derek isn’t just gorgeous, but the heir to a shipping conglomerate. He’s a whole new magnitude of out of her league and Julia just wants to crawl into a hole and sob. 

"He works with boats!" she grumbles under her breath. She's going on a date with an omega with a talent for understatement unlike anything she's ever seen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia and Derek get together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This fic is about an abusive relationship. Jennifer is a broken person and the abuser, but she's also the protagonist so she doesn't fully acknowledge her bad actions. Jennifer and Kali's past relationship had a lot of BDSM elements and perhaps genderplay, but any confusion between those and abusive behavior is Jennifer's doing.

Julia picks at the edges of the unfamiliar alpha-style collar. It might as well be choking her for how unnatural it feels. She wants to rip the stupid shirt off and replace Adrian's borrowed leather jacket with a comfy gender neutral dress. 

She feels especially inferior when she finds Derek already sitting in one of her favorite puffy chairs in the back. He's so gorgeous that she can immediately spot three other alphas sneaking glances from across the room.

He’s wearing a calf-length black skirt and a tight maroon shirt that hugs his slim figure perfectly. The collar exposes just enough neck to be suggestive while still tasteful.

Julia considers just turning around and going. She could change her number, change her name again. Maybe that way she could skip the mortifying embarrassment of ruining things with an omega so out of her league.

But then he catches sight of her and his smile illuminates his whole face. Julia wonders if her own teeth are that white. She motions that she’s going to grab her coffee first, seeing that he’s already gotten his. She shuffles from foot to foot, feeling the weight of his eyes on her as she waits in line to place her order.

When she’s finally slinking over to the table, peppermint mocha in hand, she nearly trips taking in the sheer beauty of him. Maybe she should just watch her feet to make sure they don’t make any sudden moves.

“Jennifer!” he says as they do an awkward dance of greeting, like albatross or prairie chickens or some other inept bird. She thinks he wanted a hug but changed his mind at the last minute. Or maybe it’s just her clumsy inadequacy striking again. Eventually, they settle on a stilted handshake.

“So, how are--” she begins at the same time he says, “I’m glad you could make it.”

She blushes and he ducks his head.

“I’m fine,” Julia answers when she finally gains her footing. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

“Business is good?” She’s an idiot, but she can’t think of anything else to say.

“Sure. My sister is the mastermind. I’m just helping out.”

“Oh? I spoke to your uncle after his talk. He said that you’re crucial to the business. You went to business school, right?”

“To get my M.R. degree,” he jokes. “I was supposed to marry an influential alpha and use my business skills on the board of a charity.”

“Oh. What happened?”

He grimaces. “My parents died. The same car accident that hurt my Uncle Peter.”

“Oh.” Julia never knows how to respond to those kinds of things. She often wonders if there’s something wrong with her. She’s never understood grief. Loss, she gets, but not the ways people torture themselves over it.

“I’m sure this was exactly what you wanted from a first date: the story of my dead family.”

“No! It’s good. I mean, it’s not _good_. I’m sorry that they’re, um, not alive. But I don’t mind you talking about it. It’s good I know.” She reaches out to grab his hand but pulls back the second they touch, unsure if she’s overstepping. “I’m happy you told me. I want to get to know you.” She hopes her smile is winning.

He grins back, leaning forward. She can’t believe he might actually be into her. An omega like that!

“So, um, you were saying, about the business?”

“We’ve had problems with the board. My ama was a hands on leader who didn't let them do much. I think they thought we’d be happy with our trust funds and dividends, after our parents--” He winces, unable to say it. “But Laura, my sister, wants to stay involved. She doesn’t have many allies, so she asked me to help, at least until she’s in a better position. I did get the degree, so I don’t have an excuse not to use it.”

Julia is relieved. She had tried to stay open-minded, but she hadn’t liked the idea of dating an omega who did that kind of work. She’s not completely backwards, of course. She doesn’t need a house omega. Everyone needs _something_ to keep them occupied. Besides, now that she’s in witness protection, she doesn’t exactly make enough to be the sole breadwinner. Still, with her omega working corporate hours, she’d be lucky to see him for his heat, let alone to raise their kids.

Of course she’s getting ahead of herself. Derek is the first omega she’s even dated and this is their very first date. She should put off thoughts of marriage and children for a few months at least.

“So, what do you imagine you’ll do once your sister doesn’t need you anymore? Any charities you have your eye on?”

“Peter administers the Hale Foundation and I, um, was never that interested in that either, to be honest.”

“Okay. What _are_ you interested in?” Julia hates to press, but the last thing she needs is for him to ask _her_ about her past or her ambitions.

“It’s cliche." He grimaces. "Not first date talk. But, remember: you asked,” Derek says. 

"Go ahead. I won't judge."

“I want to start a family.”

“Really?”

He nods.

“How many kids?”

“If I wanted to flirt, I’d say, ‘as many as you can give me.’”

Julia flushes. It’s a salacious response and they both know it.

“So you’re not interested in flirting,” she replies. She used to know how to do this. She used to be Julia Bacarri, never great with omegas, but one of the most sought-after ommes on the London circuit. She was beautiful back then, of course, but Peter was right: fake it until you make it. 

“I didn’t say that,” Derek grins. He leaning so far over the table that Julia fights the urge to rescue his latte. “I just wanted to answer honestly. I want a whole pack of kids. An alpha should be prepared for that.”

Julia feels her clit stir at the idea. Derek is gorgeous and smells ripe and made for carrying. She can’t wait to get inside and start breeding him. He’d take it well, she imagines, all swollen with a baby at his breast and an army of nannies to take care of the rest.

“I think any alpha in their right minds would have to be crazy not to take an omega like you up on that offer. It’s not one you hear often these days.” Children are a luxury item and regardless of mating instincts and dirty talk, most couples can’t afford to have more than two.

“Unlike Laura, I was ready to relax into my trust fund and stock dividends. If money isn’t an object, why deny myself?”

Julia laughs. The rest of their conversation is easy. In a way, the fact that Derek is such the picture perfect omega makes things easier. She feels reckless, high on his pretty face and the expensive dessert he treats her to after coffee. Anyone would want him and anyone would be unworthy, so she might as well be the one to take the shot. What does she have to lose?

***

“Derek?” Julia asks. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“It’s fine. Just a sprain,” he grunts, maneuvering himself on crutches over towards his bed. Julia looks around as discreetly as she can. The loft is huge and well decorated in messy urban chic. She had been expecting something modern, like the monstrosity of steel and glass where Derek works.

“Here, take your pills.” 

Julia knows she’s fussing, but Derek shouldn’t expect anything less. They may have only been dating for a few weeks, but he called his alpha to pick him up from the hospital, of course her nerves are going to be raw. Her desire to rub away the scent of all those sick people wars with her protective instincts. She doesn’t know what he was doing, playing basketball with the alphas instead of the fairer sex. He should know better.

Derek dry swallows the pain meds and then moves to get up, but Julia stops him with a hand on his chest. Peripherally, she’s aware that it’s sick, but she likes seeing him helpless. The awkward limp and the dilated flush of waning adrenaline make for an attractively vulnerable combo. He clit twitches. 

He sniffs a little when she leans in close and then smiles. He can smell her arousal.

Julia blushes. Now is so not the time.

Except maybe it is, because he’s leaning towards her expectantly. 

“Derek--” she utters, before their lips meet.

Before she knows it, she’s crowding him back onto the bed, one knee between his spread legs. She licks over the gland at his neck, tasting his pheromones. She won’t bite him, of course, but the area is flushed and so sensitive that she only needs to blow a warm breath over it to make him shudder. 

She yanks off her dress and kicks off her high heels. Derek hasn’t seen her at her natural height yet, so she hopes he’s distracted.

Julia is used to playing the passive party during sex. She’s a featherweight in gay circles, coquettish and shy, a pretty little plaything for a dominant partner to dote on. A few of her past lovers have asked her to top, but she’s always so nervous that they inevitably have to instruct her.

She can’t exactly expect an _omega_ to do that, though.

All she wants is to insert herself between Derek’s legs and make love to him, slow and steady. She wants to knot him and press tons of tiny kisses all over his beautiful face when they tie. Kissing and worshipping her lover’s body, those are things Julia is good at. 

But Derek is an omega and this is their first time. She needs to show her dominance, even though she still can’t bring herself to be that forceful. She tangles her hand in his hair as she moves onto the bed behind him. She yanks him back, exposing his neck.

He yields. It makes her shiver, even though she’d rather just gaze into those soulful hazel eyes.

She pulls off her shirt when he isn’t looking. The scars are more prominent on her chest, but when he turns, he’s focused on the two small jeweled rings adorning her nipples. Julia often forgets about them. She knows she should take them out, but they had been a birthday gift from Kali. Julia promised to wear them, always. She keeps her promises.

Derek cups her breasts, playing with them shyly. He looks mesmerized. Self-conscious, Julia focuses on stripping him instead.

His chest is breathtaking, narrow but toned without being too bulky. His nipples are flushed and slightly puffy, meaning his heat should be coming soon. He cries out when she leans down to suck at one of them. Her lipstick leaves traces like war paint.

He needs a little help to settle back onto the bed and she provides it gladly. His baggy, unflattering shorts are easy to pull off and his panties are simple, black, not as exciting as she hoped. He still smells of sweat and other alphas, so she takes her time, rubbing the scent glands at her wrists all over him.

His cock is large for an omega, she thinks. She doesn’t watch much porn, so she has little to compare it to. Julia fucks mostly females and mostly alphas. But Kali had invited a male omega to their bed once. Julia knelt on a pedestal in the middle of the room, chained to the ceiling with silver filaments hooked to the collar around her neck. The male omega had sucked her clit and licked her hole but she hadn’t been able to lower her head to get a good look at him.

She eyes Derek’s big cock hungrily. It’s red and straining with arousal. A part of her would like to feel it inside. Another part is intimidated. She understands now, why her schoolmates had always whispered whenever a female alpha managed to bag a male omega. ‘Bold, that one,’ they’d say. Or ‘ _she_ clearly doesn’t back down from a sword fight.’ Or ‘her? I bet she takes it from _him_ ’ amongst a cascade of giggles.

She squeezes his leaking cock, too tight, because he winces. To cover the mistake, Julia leans down and sucks him. She’s clenching, clit extending. She rubs off on his leg as she keeps licking at him. She's so absorbed in the weight and taste of him that she forgets to slap his hands away when they tangle in her hair.

She moves up his body, still rubbing. His cock is smooth and warm. It feels like silk against her clit. She kisses him. She holds his jaw to show dominance, but her grip relaxes almost instantly because he isn’t fighting her. He’s boneless, gazing at her wonderingly.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs. It makes her heart pound, a clatter like hooves on concrete. So many people have told her that, but an omega … she’s not sure if it’s an insult.

She kisses him some more, hoping to distract.

“Can you?” he asks quietly. “I’m sorry, but can you put it in? Please?”

Julia had almost forgotten. She forgets, sometimes, about her knot. Kali used to keep it in a pretty silver cage, held shut by a lock shaped like a flower. Sometimes, Kali would tie a chain between the cage and Julia’s nipples, forcing her to hold still while her alpha mounted her.

She remembers that, how helpless she had felt. It’s both arousing and humiliating. She surges forward, forcing the blunt nub of her clit into her lover. She can’t fuck hard into him the way an alpha male can, but she doesn’t need to. Her little, long-neglected clit is enough to shove up against his p-spot, a hard, unrelenting pressure that has him sobbing into her shoulder. She’d forgotten how responsive omegas are.

Her hand barely skims his cock before it’s leaking, the strange slow spill that Julia has heard about male omegas. She dislikes it. 

“Jennifer!” Derek shouts.

That isn’t her name.

She doesn't knot him, but Derek never bothers to ask why.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their sixth month anniversary, Derek and Julia contemplate their pasts.

“You’re beautiful,” Julia says, because it’s true. “Any alpha would be lucky to have you. I’m just so happy you chose me.”

Derek ducks his head, disbelieving. 

They’ve been dating for sixth months now. Julia scraped enough together to take Derek to the city's finest restaurant, only to find he routinely takes clients there. So instead they’re at home, enjoying a candlelit meal. Julia squirms, aware that it’s not enough. Past lovers have probably taken Derek to Paris or bought him a huge diamond or one of those many other things rich people do. Kali used to do those things. Julia remembers how it felt.

“I’m happy you chose me,” Derek eventually replies.

“It was never up to me,” Julia counters. “The odds weren't in my favor. I was shocked that you said yes. I mean, you must have dated many alphas wealthier, more successful, and stronger than I am. What made you even agree?”

She wants to know and yet she doesn’t. Maybe Derek has been playing with her this whole time. She doesn’t doubt that he enjoys himself when they’re together, but maybe for him this is just a dalliance to see how the other half lives. Maybe he isn’t thinking bonding and marriage and children the way she is. He can do better. She’s sure she never will.

Derek shrugs. “You weren’t entitled,” he eventually replies. “A lot of the alphas I meet are everything you mention and they know it. They act as though I’m obligated to be attracted, or to at least to hang on their every word. It’s easy to turn them down when I know it was never even me that they were interested in, just a gold star.”

“So you liked me because I was different?”

“I liked you because I knew you weren’t just playing a game,” Derek replies. “If you were, then you weren’t very good at it.”

Jennifer rankles a little bit. She _had_ be playing a kind of game - trying to seem more confident than she was. She’d been proud that she’d succeeded. Of course it turns out that Derek was just attracted to her lack of confidence all along.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to insult you,” Derek tries to correct. He nudges her thigh under the table and looks more panicked than he should be. Maybe it’s just the shadows left by the candlelight that make him look like a scared child. 

“No. That’s okay,” she replies, even though it isn’t.

“And you’re wrong about me having lots of other alphas. I’ve only had two.”

“Really?” Julia doesn’t want to know about the other people who have had him. She wants to think that she’s the only one and the best. “That’s a little hard to believe.”

“The first was my high school sweetheart.”

“Now, that I can see.” Julia can’t imagine Derek as one of the popular omegas who uses sexuality and scorn to achieve control. He's loyal, that much she knows.

“She looked a lot like you,” he continues. “Acted like you, too: smart, stubborn, but a little shy. I guess I have a type.”

Julia smiles. Even though she hates to be compared to an ex, it’s good to hear that she’s not just some kind of experiment. Though who knows if she'll ever measure up to this lost, first love. “So you two went to different colleges and drifted apart?”

He shakes his head. “It was a lot more dramatic than that.”

“Oh?”

“After our Junior year, she went to orchestra camp for the summer. She played the cello. Everyone was supposed to be outside for a scavenger hunt, but she and her duet partner snuck down to the concert hall to practice. His first heat hit unexpectedly and she frenzied. She ended up biting him. She wasn’t interested in me anymore after that. They’re still together, just had their second child.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Most of us lose our first loves.”

“And your second alpha? When we met, you implied you’d just come off a bad breakup.” She's been scared to ask about it, but she worries at it like a wound when they lie together in bed at night.

Derek chuckles at that. “Breakup implies we were together.”

“You weren’t?” Julia is certain she didn’t take Derek’s virginity, but he's not admitting to much experience.

“I thought we were together, but we weren’t,” he says bitterly. “Kate was the daughter of the CEO of one of our competitors. She said she loved me and that she’d make me hers one day, but she didn’t care about me. She’d forget about my heat half the time and she wouldn’t bite me until marriage. She’d always tell me to ‘do what you want, babe,’ whenever I asked her opinion on something. After my parents died, I thought she’d help me through it. When my sister and my uncle turned down merging the companies, she broke off our engagement. I haven’t dated since then.”

He looks small, broken. Julia regrets even starting this conversation. It’s their six month anniversary. This is supposed to be about _them_ not the ghosts of past relationships. It doesn’t matter that those ghosts are the only reasons why the two of them are here, together.

Julia takes his hand. It’s the least she can do to ease his pain. She should tell him, maybe, all the secrets locked inside. He’s not the only one who has been hurt. Maybe she can offer her own vulnerability like a balm. 

Except she won’t. She feels raw, like tenderized flesh and bone, like carrion. She’ll crack and dry under the harsh sun and one day, the image of her will crumble to dust in Derek’s hands. She'll be ruins in the archaeology of past wrongs. She owns him nothing, certainly not her unmaking. He volunteered the information to her of his own free will. 

His secrets will not end with him dead the way hers will. Witness protection is a prison for those who need to be loved as they are.

“So you have shared your heats before?” is what she finally ends up asking. It’s not the most important thing in all that he’s just exposed, but it’s the most relevant to her. 

Derek nods. “With Kate. After what happened with Paige, I thought I couldn’t keep an alpha if I wouldn’t share my heat. Now I know I was wrong.”

“You weren’t completely wrong,” Julia replies. “An unbonded alpha will always be in danger of doing what your first alpha did to you. It’s the bond that matters, not the heats. It can help keep an alpha from straying. But the bond alone isn’t enough to keep people from being people. If she had bad intentions, that was her fault and there’s nothing you could have done.”

Derek smiles wanly. He actually seems comforted, even though Julia has no clue what she’s talking about.

“I’d be honored to share your heat and to have your bond,” she tells him, formally. Her palms are sweating and she blushes, but it has to be said.

Derek takes it in for a moment. He’s so still sometimes. Everything about him is achingly deliberate. She feels like a herd of drunk elephants compared to him, messy and discombobulated on the inside.

“I would be honored to give it,” he responds. “But, after Kate, I need to know that you’re not going to hurt me.”

Julia thinks about Kali and all her broken promises. They were jagged edges that dig in, even now. She doesn’t think even a bond could have stopped it, if a bond were possible between two alphas. Even the biological drive to protect her omega wouldn't have stopped Kali's beautiful will.

"Promise you won't hurt me."

“Derek, I won’t promise you that. You shouldn’t trust anyone who would. I might hurt you and you might hurt me, no matter what we intend.”

“Then when we get married. I’ll share my heat then.”

Julia bites her lip. She had hoped to experience an omega’s heat sooner, but Derek is worth waiting for.

“Okay. _When_ we get married, I will take your heat and it’ll feel so good for both of us.”

Her smile flickers in the candlelight, as do his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia and Derek decide to wed.

Julia doesn’t like these parties, in spite of the slinky black gown that Derek is wearing. Kali had always treated Julia to fine things, but drug-trafficking rich and old-money rich are not the same. Julia hadn’t felt out of place as a pretty thing on Kali’s arm. She feels utterly stranded here when Derek kisses her on the cheek and leaves her alone with the CEO of Calaveras Securities.

“That’s quite some omega you’ve got there,” Mrs. Calaveras says with a leer. “Everyone is amazed at the name he and his sister are making for themselves. And on the heels of such tragedy.”

“Yes. It’s impressive.” In truth, Julia knows very little about the business. Derek’s sister Laura had been very proud to be the only person not from the tech world mentioned in some financial magazine’s article about executives to watch under 30.

“Does it bother you? To have an omega with an important career?”

Julia shakes her head. Thanks to Derek’s career she gets to live in a nice loft in the city, eat at expensive restaurants all the time, dress up in fancy dresses like the one she has on now. It’s nice that her omega is powerful. He reminds her of Kali sometimes, when he easily commands a PA or a waiter or even Julia herself.

But _should_ she worry? Is she not being a good alpha? She feels the weight of it pressing down on her all of a sudden. What are these people saying? Can they see her for the phony she is?

“What do you do?” Mrs. Calaveras asks.

“Oh,” Julia blushes. “I’m a teacher.”

“Ah, an academic. I know young Derek speaks many languages...I should have known he would find himself a smart alpha.”

Julia winces. Should she correct the mistaken assumption that she’s a professor? She’s content working with her 10th graders. Maybe next year she can stop commuting and get herself an in with one of the private schools in the city that Peter has connections with, but that’s the only improvement she can expect. If she wants to truly impress Derek, then maybe she should consider something more ambitious. 

“So you know Derek well?”

“Not well. But I have known him since he was a boy. We find ourselves in the same circles.”

The crowd parts and Julia suddenly spots the person Derek had so suddenly ditched her to go talk to, even after he promised that he wouldn’t abandon her somewhere she doesn’t feel comfortable. He’s an alpha, probably in his forties, but still very handsome. He has Derek hanging off his arm as he whispers in his ear. Derek, who is almost always getting yelled at by Laura for being too standoffish, is letting the alpha paw at him like cat digging its claws into whatever it claims. 

“Who’s _that_ ,” Julia blurts before she realizes how rude it sounds.

Mrs. Calaveras glances over her shoulder then chuckles. “Oh, you must not have been together long, if you don’t know Deucalion.”

“Deucalion?” What kind of name is Deucalion? Julia just doesn’t get these old money types.

“Former VP of Ocean Operations under Talia. He went to settle a security concern and got kidnapped. They tortured him. Now he’s blind. Talia gave him shares of the company and a permanent seat on the board in compensation.”

“That seems...excessive.”

Mrs. Calaveras laughs. “Outside of the ivory tower, we all know that you do what you can to please the alpha who knows where the bodies are buried. You’re looking at the one thing Talia Hale wouldn’t do.” She inclines her head towards Derek.

Deucalion lets his hand reach down to curve around Derek’s lower back, too close to his ass for Julia’s comfort. Julia is shocked to find that her omega doesn’t move away. She takes a step towards them without even realizing it.

“Oh, muñequita, no need for jealousy. Deucalion is a powerful man who has been panting after Derek since he was a child. If your omega returned those feelings in any way, you wouldn’t be here.”

Julia’s heart is beating wildly in her breast. She’s choking. What is this feeling? She has never been jealous before. She hasn’t had cause to. It’s irrational. Derek is too noble to cheat on her. And if he did, he’s not stupid. He wouldn’t flirt with the person he’s cheating with in front of his alpha. 

But seeing that muscular arm around Derek’s narrow waist makes her blood boil. Derek is _hers_. She’s grown so much, learned to fake a confidence she still doesn’t feel. She _deserves_ him. He chose her.

“Now that one,” Mrs. Calaveras nods towards Laura, who is swiftly approaching, an insincere smile plastered on her serious face, “I do not believe there is anything she would not do.”

Mrs. Calaveras departs with a nod, making way for Laura. “Ah, Julie, there you are,” she says.

Julia’s heart stops beating for a second, before she realizes that Laura’s tone is distracted, not accusatory. “It’s Jennifer.” They’ve met five times. And Julia’s been dating Derek for seven months. If Julia were stronger, she’d let Laura know that mistaking her name is unacceptable at this point. She’s in Derek’s life for good and Laura should get used to it.

“Right. Jenny, I need you to stay over here for a bit, okay? Nothing to worry about, just Derek handling an important business function. You understand, right?”

Julia can’t stand the firm grip on her shoulder, the nickname she never uses, the expensive tuxedo and the dismissive tone. She’s done. She steps out of Laura’s reach. “I understand that you’re trying to pimp out my omega to some pathetic, old letcher for the sake of business.” She’s shaking with anger. It feels good to finally take a stand.

“Oh,” Laura replies. “You know already. That’s great, Jenny. I’m so happy you understand. Business is business and letting a blind guy cop a feel to secure approval for a billion dollar port expansion is practically free.”

Except Laura has no _right_. Derek isn’t her omega. She can’t turn him out like a cheap whore. “Derek shouldn’t have to--”

“I know. I hate it too.” At least she sounds sincere about that. “But Derek’s fine with it and it really is a small price to pay.”

Julia tries to appeal to Laura’s alpha instinct. “But if it were your omega--”

“Hey, if Ava wasn’t dumping out pregnancy pheremones right now, I’d shove her over there too. She could earn her keep. This port expansion is my baby and if proves successful, then I’m one step closer to putting a Hale back in charge of HSI.”

“It’s just a project. Your real baby is the one your omega is carrying.”

Laura groans. “My _omega_? Ava is a pilates instructor who can’t even figure out her birth control schedule. And Derek? He’s doing this because our family’s legacy is on the line. Once it’s approved, this port expansion will last longer than a _schoolteacher_ could ever hope to last with someone of Derek’s standing.”

Julia wants to punch Laura in her stupid smug face. Doesn’t she understand that Derek is a person, too? Not just a pawn in her little chess game? Julia doesn’t know why Derek keeps her as his alpha, but he does. His choice should count for something. Julia shouldn’t have to prove herself to his jackass of a sister. 

She shoves past Laura. Maybe she should get a drink. Or go to the bathroom. Anywhere but here. 

Julia ends up out on a balcony in the room across the hall from where the reception is being held. The air is damp. It tickles her nose with the smell of urban decay. What is she even doing here? What is the point? She doesn’t have a hope in hell of keeping Derek. Maybe she should just give up now. She sucks in breath after rapid breath. Is this what a panic attack feels like?

Julia nearly jumps off the balcony when she feels a hand brush against her shoulder. 

“Hey,” Derek says, his eyes shining with concern. “You went rushing out of there. Did Laura say something?”

“Laura said a lot of things.”

Derek clenches his jaw in annoyance. “Look. I’ll talk to her, but Laura isn’t built for life outside the corporate hierarchy. She’s blunt and she has extreme values about what it means to be an alpha. Just ignore her.”

“She doesn’t think I deserve you.”

Derek snorts. He cups her cheek in one large palm. “You deserve me. And she’d see me married and bonded to someone who deserves me a hell of alot less if it were in our strategic interest. I’d rather have you and that makes her angry.”

He leans forward to capture Julia’s mouth in a slow, sweet kiss. This is right. This is what she needs: just the two of them together, not CEOs and fancy parties and corporate politics that she doesn’t understand. 

Julia speeds up the kiss, flipping them so that Derek is pushed back against the side of the building. She feels empowered, suddenly. Laura and the others in there can judge Julia all they want, but they can’t stop Julia from taking this. Her clit hardens at the thought.

She yanks one of Derek’s legs up around her waist as she deepens the kiss. The silky material of his Grecian-style dress feels like liquid metal on her skin. Derek is hard too, and getting wet. Julia shoves his panties to the side so she can finger him. He gasps, sending false prayers out into the foggy indifference of the city below.

Julia kisses down his exposed collarbone. The bonding gland thrums under her attention. If he were in heat, she would bite. She needs to mark him as hers. Instead of biting, she hitches up her dress and shoves inside.

Derek gasps, meeting her rhythm of shallow thrusts with wild undulations of his hips.

“You feel so good,” he moans. His scent spikes with need. “Jennifer, please!”

So she knots him, exposed on a balcony. He buries his face in the side of her neck, noses at her pheromone glands. “You’re my alpha,” he says. “Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

“Marry me,” she says. It’s soon, but Julia doesn’t know how much longer she can go without the bond. She needs his heat. She needs to plant her seed in his belly. She needs for him to be wholly, unequivocally hers.

Her knot pulses.

“Okay,” Derek gasps, cheeks flushed and eyes wild. “Okay.”

***

“Do you, Jennifer Blake, take this omega to be your lawfully wedded husband? Bound together in sickness and health, for richer and for poorer, until death breaks the bond apart?” the priest asks. 

“I do,” Jennifer says. She’s Jennifer now, no longer Julia. Jennifer is the name that she is bound to Derek under and it’s the name she’ll keep.

When they found out that she has no surviving family and the Hales have few, they opted for a modern couple-focused ceremony, instead of the traditional union of two families. It’s a relief, because Julia doesn’t know if Laura would ever have acquiesced to Jennifer being a part of her family tree. It’s difficult enough to have her standing at Jennifer’s side, along with Adrian and Peter. 

The rest of the ceremony flies by and before Jennifer knows it, she’s sitting next to Peter, watching Laura and Derek do the traditional alpha parent/omega child dance. They stumble along, both having skipped out on the majority of the dance lessons the wedding planner booked for them. Jennifer is the only one who had attended them all.

They’re surrounded by 400 guests that Jennifer doesn’t know, but she only has eyes for Derek. He hated all the poofy prince gowns, so he’s wearing a structured strapless dress, with stiff whirls and twists of fabric that almost protrude out of the bodice, like the dress is a suit of armor made of frozen clouds. Jennifer is almost afraid to touch it, considering it’s worth as much as her car.

“To be honest, I never thought we’d find ourselves here,” Peter says casually. “I underestimated you.”

“People do,” Jennifer replies. Kali had thought she could cut Jennifer open and leave her for dead. She never predicted that Jennifer would claw her way out of the Thames and head straight for Interpol. 

“So, when’s he due?”

“What?”

“I assumed, with all the rush to a ceremony, you had already knocked up my dear nephew.”

Jennifer gulps. They only bonded a few months ago, during Derek’s first heat after Jennifer proposed. But there had been three negative pregnancy tests since.

“Oh, what a pity. Is it a knotting dysfunction? Because I can hire you a specialist for that.”

Jennifer shakes her head. If she were a proper alpha, she’d get angry, but there’s no use in getting angry at Peter. He does what he does regardless of the world. “Sometimes it just takes time.” That’s what her doctor had said. Stress can affect fertility in both bonded alphas and omegas. The wedding preparations have been stressful. But once Jennifer is secure in her place, things should be better.

“True,” Peter replies. “But I wouldn’t dally too long. My niece has had her eye on the CEO position for a long time and she and Derek are both committed to that cause. Some bullshit about their ama’s legacy. Once Laura’s little plaything pushes her squalling brat out, Derek might be doing more of the traveling. And with traveling comes the need for suppressants. You might not see him often enough to get one on him.”

Jennifer nearly growls at the thought. Derek loves his sister, for all of a foul viper she is. She can see him delaying his own plans in order to give her time with her newborn.

“Why isn’t she CEO already? Doesn’t your family own the company?”

“Yes and no,” Peter replies. “The company is privately held. We Hales control the majority of the shares, but in her infinite wisdom, my late sister distributed shares to key advisors in order to form a board that would act as more than just a rubber stamp. I was never in favor of the policy, but I admit that they have made some good decisions over the years. And Hale or not, my niece is only 28. Deucalion has good reason to not want her as CEO. Then again, he already has his man, Ennis, installed in the spot, so he has no reason to accept _anyone_ , no mater how many coy smiles Derek gives him.”

“Why don’t you take over. You’re not 28.”

Peter just chuckles. He doesn’t bother answering. Instead, he takes her hand in his and kisses the back of it, like she’s some Victorian omega.

“I wish you luck, Ms. Bacarri.”

Jennifer feels the blood drain from her face. Her heart beats wildly, but her blood moves sluggishly, like crude in her veins. She’s frozen in place. This is every nightmare come alive. “How do you--”

Peter scoffs. “Do you think I would allow my only surviving omega family to marry just anyone without doing a thorough background check?”

“But my identity is supposed to be foolproof. They _promised_.” Jennifer’s hands are shaking. She wants to cry and sob, but this is her wedding, she’s supposed to smile. It’s supposed to be the happiest day of her life. But how can she be happy? If Peter can figure out who she is, then so can Kali. She’s still out there, even if Jennifer’s testimony took down her organization.

“They can’t completely rewrite history. Once you dig enough, you find nobody remembers a Jennifer Blake. And once you know it’s a fake identity, there are ways a man of influence can find out more.”

She should run. She wants to run. She wants to tear off these fancy clothes and flee like Cinderella from the ball she does not deserve. But then she looks at Derek, laughing at something his sister said. He is absolutely radiant with a smile on his face. As much as he moaned about having to be the center of attention at this gaudy wedding, he looks _happy_. She can’t take that from him, not even for the sake of her own secrets.

“Does he--”

“My nephew is none-the-wiser. And, so long as you behave, he will remain in the dark. I believe that’s for the best.”

“But what if they--” Jennifer’s mangled face was a mercy compared to what Kali did to her enemies.

“Oh, I would never let my family come to harm, not the few that remain. You’re a Hale now, Julia. We have the resources to protect you. More importantly, we have the notoriety. To make a nobody disappear is one thing...come at us and it’s _assassination_.”

The song comes to a close with a smattering of applause from the audience, all of whom are more absorbed in the side conversations than the couple they don’t know whose marriage is the only reason they’re here.

“Go ahead, make my nephew happy,” Peter gestures with a raised eyebrow. The _if you can_ is implied.

Jennifer forces herself up on shaky legs. Her head is spinning, her movements slow, detached in the wake of fear. People are already joining them on the dance floor. Laura’s pregnant omega is waddling towards them with an awkward wave. Peter has produced a petite young waif seemingly out of thin air. He winks at Jennifer as they shimmy past.

The fabric of Derek’s gown is smooth and rich under her hands. His usually contemplative eyes are sparkling with joy. Jennifer leans their foreheads together and just breathes him in. This is what matters. This is the man she loves. Nothing else is too great a sacrifice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm desperately trying to finish this before the conclusion of In Treatment, even if it delays my progress on the main fic. I want people to be able to read Derek's history with Jennifer if they want. It'll maybe help them understand where Derek is coming from with some of his issues.


End file.
